It’s been a month since my 26th birthday and as I look past behind those 26 years, it was comforting to realize how the strings in my heart tugged a pull so overwhelming and relaxing at the same time. I didn’t know it can be possible.
I have always believed that happiness is a matter of perspective. And though a struggle it may seem sometimes, to find that feeling of being actually happy, I know that joy is there if only we know where to look.
But more than that, I have learned, and I have witnessed, that joy can only come to you, when you welcome it.
For a short while, it was hard for me to see it. Days would pass when I was hoping that pretending could lead to actual reality. It was not easy to stay glowing and happy when inside you know well how it feels like carrying all those pointed rocks in your chest. The heaviness spoiled all potential happy memories you would have remembered so well with smiles and twinkling eyes if not for the bitter aftertastes of those other memories you have thrown in the trash bin.
Pretending did help, in a way. But only temporarily and as shallow as a kiddie pool, makes you feel unwise and empty.
Then I learned to let go, and wow how lifting it is!
How freeing it feels when you learn how to throw everything away. Only that is the only way to detoxify yourself. It seemed to be difficult at first but with a little push and with a little peek at the door of potential happy new life, it will be easy. Friends help, and they help a lot!
I have welcomed joy. I received it from something I was repeatedly shunning away from me. And still it came, also repeatedly. I’m only realizing it now how stupid was I to deny myself that pleasure in the past. Still it knocked, and I thank God for waking me up. I have welcomed joy and I am keeping it until God allows.
I am over the centavo coin! I’m 26 and I am happy. 😊