It was unwise, I was reckless. Just what have I been doing all this time?
I was invited into a strange forest, some place that appeared magically while I was traveling the highway. The words given to me were full of beautiful promises about it. I gave my trust and since I’ll be guided, I entered so willingly.
And oh what joy! All the wonders I saw!
But a few steps further, I suddenly found myself being directed outside by my guide. When so much is left to be explored. Just like that, I was expelled.
I thought maybe my tour guide got tired because I slipped so many times it got really stressful (as if he doesn’t slip). Or maybe I was just too slow.
But without him, I just cannot go further.
It seemed as if he got lost in there. He said there were ghosts in the forest but he warded them off before. Turns out he didn’t and the ghosts are still there, lurking in the dark shadows I wanted to give light to but now I could not.
I didn’t know I was already walking the trail towards the cruel exit the time I felt fear and anxiety eating me alive. When I realized it was the case, I felt used and abandoned and I never felt so much like an intruder ever before. A feeling so ugly, painful, and confusing I didn’t know what to do with it.
Something got wrong somewhere inside but with all those tangled roots, huge spider webs, and hidden monsters, I can no longer see which part I tripped badly, or was it him? I thought I had a right to be mad. And I tried to pull my guide with me but it became too dark I couldn’t see him, nor understand him. Or he wouldn’t let me, I don’t know. I really want to.
Some truths can be painful, but truths they remain and from them we find enlightenment. I was left alone, I was hurt and clueless which way to go. But I’m biding my time as I try to find my way back to the highway. With clear mind I know I’ll get there, and soon.
My guide was filled with so much light before, I only pray that he’ll be able to use it to find there in his forest the clearing that he’s been looking for, before he invites another. Or perhaps at least have the courage, to ask for help.
However, with a whisper of my name I’d go back though. After all, the universe is so much more vast than how we know it but my adventure in the forest made me feel like it’s as small as a seat for two. And for a while, that forest was my home.*image above is illustrated by Kay Rasmus Nielsen for East of the Sun and West of the Moon: Old Tales from the North.