Thou Clouted Tickled-Brain Moldwarp!: How to Confront a Stubborn Younger Brother When He Makes You Angry… with Grace

When that filthy stubborn whey-faced wagtail younger brother has once again boiled the fires of your inner hell, respond gracefully.

How? here’s how:

Step 1:

Okay, first, learn deep breathing. Calm your chest. Drink Water.

Step 2:

Look at him. Straight in his eyes. And let him see how angry you are by simply staring. Show him those fires in your eyes. But remain still, and only let your glare show the angst.

While you do, try to calm your nerves down. Then let the flames in your eyes soften a little. Until it goes blank and unreadable.

But don’t break the gaze until you think he already got what you’re trying to show.

Step 3:

With that now incomprehensible blank face and blank eyes, softly inhale… then scoff. Yes that’s right, scoff at his face. Make sure your eyebrows are raised and your eyes are piercing, and you are mockingly, silently laughing.

Step 4:

Slowly press your lips together, make a thin line, and then in a very sweet manner… smile.

Yes, smile. No matter how fake it may seem.

Your eyes should be soft, and it would be better if there are some twinkles and flickers of light in those eyes.

But don’t get me wrong here. When you do that smile, make sure you’re not lying to yourself. Those flickers of light and twinkles in your eyes are not in any way reflective of genuine sweetness.

They are scintillation of annoyance, of obscured hell, of arcane yet terrorizing superiority.

That way, you overpower him.

Step 5:

Breathe again. Sigh if you want. Sigh as if you’ve found a poor puppy asking for some puppy biscuits. And look at him with your own puppy eyes. Your eyes should look gentle in an ‘oh-there-you-are-poor-creature-craving-for-attention’ way.

Step 6:

Walk towards him. Tap his back. Breathe again (yes, breathing helps a lot), and say:

“It’s okay. We all love you.”

Dun-dun-dun-dun! That should shut him up! Haha. And if you can, kiss him also.

Those fugly annoying brothers… All they really want is attention. Give it to them even for some minute.

However, don’t do these steps every time, they might stop annoying you for a long time and although that sounds great, it may remove that spice in your life. You know, the spice that makes you feel heightened emotions. I think sometimes feeling anger is somewhat healthy.

Well, that’s as long as you respond to it with calmness, and well… with grace. 🙂

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